As part of our course, we were asked to listen to the podcast titled What You Don’t Know by Lulu Wang. Wang described the difficult decision she and her family had to make when they were informed that their NaiNai had stage four lung cancer. In this blog post, I will discuss whether or not I agree with the Wang family and you may find out if I have ever had to make and important decision to lie or tell the truth. When it comes to whether or not I agree with the family’s choice to deceive NaiNai, I agree with them. Now, at first read I did not agree with them. I thought that they were being selfish in not telling her because I thought that I would want to know. But as the story went on and NaiNai’s health did not decrease, I started to wonder about how much stress knowledge can have on a person. In knowing that you’re going to die within a short period of time, it usually urges you to do everything you’ve never done and if you are unable to attain every single day by the date they stamped on your forehead, then you may feel devastated. Personally, I would feel crushed especially since I may not have the means necessary to complete my journey. I believe that NaiNai being surrounded by her loved ones and not having a clock ticking down to her last days hanging above her head, helped her to continue to thrive and live a healthy life. Another aspect of knowing when you’re “due date” is, is what if it doesn’t come? What if you’ve just spent the last three months saying you’re goodbyes and traveling the world and making peace with your death, only for the reaper to tell you he doesn’t feel like it today? Humans thrive on living in the state of not knowing and I believe the Wang family got it right. As a child growing up with a bipolar and addict mother, there were many times that I had to either withhold the truth or decide to tell the truth even if I feared for my safety. The time I’d like to reflect on was the school year after I had stayed at my Aunt’s in the summer so my mother could stay at a rehabilitation center. My Aunt had made me promise to get in contact with her if I had any suspicions of my mother relapsing. How could I call her on the first night and tell her that I had found a box of wine under the sink? Or that I already had a new bruise? I wanted so badly to believe that she could get better, that I hid it from everyone. Clearly some drinking led to more drinking which led to more mean and scary mom. And being only 14, I didn’t know how to deal with it because every time I told someone, it only seemed to make it worse. Unfortunately, this was the wrong decision. Looking back, I realized that I should have told someone, I should have called my aunt that first night and told her what was going on. But I had so much hope. This decision to keep it to myself led to my almost flunking ninth grade, my mother not getting the help she needed and the emotional scars that were left from her nightly duels. I realize now, I was being selfish and was scared to admit that something was wrong. I’m happy to say that I learned to be more open and my mother is now five years sober. Like they say, the truth will set you free.
2 Comments
Victoria Kuonen
2/21/2018 10:37:57 am
Hello, I'm from Mangini's Tuesday and Thursday night class. I felt the same way about the story. At first I did not agree with therm lying, but after further reading my opinion changed and I agreed. Awesome blog!
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Shawn
2/21/2018 06:57:31 pm
Wow. That was a very powerful story and very personal! I'm happy for you that your more truthful now and your mother is sober, that's awesome!
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